Thursday, February 3, 2011


Have you ever seen that youtube video(referring to my title post; " Is this real life? ")...That's how my life feels right now. garbled, unorganized, chaotic.

I've been kind of a negative Nancy lately. I think it has a lot to do with the dreary January days. It has to do with my need and want for fast results in the gym that just aren't happening. It has something to do with the fact that I want a vacation that doesn't involve business or taking other people. It also has something to do with losing my grams. I miss hearing her voice.

In other words, life right now is tough.

I went into the gym on Tuesday. Mind you, I did an intense booth camp on Saturday,  had personal training on Sunday, did lots of cardio on Monday  and personal training again on Tuesday. Anyhow. Tuesday rolls around, I wasn't feeling all that great, but I pushed through and headed to the gym. I was 10 minutes into my training when I started feeling the emotions, the shaking, the yucky feeling of black outs, and then I lost it. I could not do anymore. I knew if I stayed the entire hour I would have been a puking, crying mess.  At 6pm when every single person that has a membership is at the gym, would have seen me, I decided to stop, and go home.  Once I got in my car I lost it. Full on waterworks. I felt so guilty for giving up. I felt so angry for all the stress, and mind garbles I had going on. It was a huge mental block and I had no idea how to get out.

I've taken a few days off from the gym, and just spent time with myself. I did a whole lot of laying on the couch, taking naps, watching ridiculous realty shows...I have to say I'm not 100% there yet, but I'm trying. Hopefully this weekend can reshape my funk and I'll be back at the workout game on Sunday.

In other more upbeat news.

-I've been playing with some new recipes that I'll be posting this week. All are healthy, and really filling!

 - I hope everyone on the east coast is getting through the massive storms! I'm surprised Oregon hasn't had more cold, snowy days. But it seems that all the storms passed us by and went right over to the eastern states.

- I've redone our budget and started a jar system for fun stuff. I'll be posting about that too, for people interested in  saving their finances!


My Husband's Watching TV... said...

You're always so happy and motivating to me!!! Keep it up girlie.