Saturday, January 8, 2011


I have 3 New Years resolutions this year.

1) To pay more attention to my writing and blog..
I love looking back a year ago and seeing what we were doing in our lives, what was in my head, and how far I've come along. Truthfully, I've given up on this blog many, many times. I've questioned my sanity when it comes to writing, because deep down, I'm not sure I want to share my life with everyone. I have good days and bad days. I'm self conscious. I fight with my fiance. I'm not that close to my family. I've miscarried. I'm opinionated. I think to myself? who wants to read my reality? It seems all the blogs I read are sugar coated. Girls I felt connected with, I no longer do, because they have become "mommy" bloggers, who seem to have perfect lives. ( or at least that's how they portray themselves). But the truth is, "I" want to read my blog. And therefore, I will write for me. I wont sugar coat things. I'll put my life out there for those to read, and you can either accept it, or turn away. It's ME. It's who I am.

2) Work on my health and fitness.
I've been working on this over the last year, and again I have good days and bad days.
My worst fear came true November16th. My grandmother passed away. Out of my entire family she was the only one I connected with. She understood me, and guided me. She died at 64 years old. let me say that again. She died at 64 years old! That's TOO young! She had a whole life to live. But she chose to smoke. For years. And ultimately, her lungs gave up.
It made me realize life is too short, and the choices we make right now affect our future. I want to be there for my kids, and for their kids, and their kids and so on. I want to be healthy, and active.
 ( for reference, my grams did stop smoking 2 years ago. but the damage was already done)

And so: I've thrown out my entire pantry and started over. We're doing lots of organic produce & lean meats. I've hired a personal trainer, and bought a body media fit band. I should be close to my goal weight by July if I keep up the pace that I'm at, and I'm happy with that. It's not a fast weight loss, but it's a life changing one.

3) Get married & have a baby

Both are works in progress. We have some news on the marriage front but aren't willing to share just yet. We made a decision that works best for us, but might not sit well with our family. That's all the details I can say on the marriage term, but I do promise to jump into more detail as soon as we tell our families.

As far as having a baby. Let's just say we're not stopping it. I'm pretty sure I have some fertility issues, and now that we just got a new health care plan, We're going to start testing at the end of March. Ideally we'll be pregnant before summer. I'm really hoping for a winter baby, since that will allow us enough time home before our Halloween season begins, but at this point...I'll take what I can get.

So there you have it. I'm back on the blog bandwagon, I'm working on ME and working on becoming a family with C.