2 WEEKS...

In 2 weeks we'll begin our journey back down to California for another Halloween season. I will be packing up all of the bare essentials and leaving the rest behind. My bed will not have anyone to lay on it for 3 whole months. The TV we had to save for 6 months, will not have any use. The fridge and freezer will be emptied, the cable turned off. The potted herbs that are growing so well will be carted down to a new state, where the heat will more then likely kill them.

The windows will be shut and locked, and when we return, they will not be opened since it will be nearly winter time. The water will come out slightly brown because it hasn't been ran for some time. The house will lack any warmth, any love, and any of us.

Spencer wont get to run with his best friend Oscar ( the neighbor dog) My favorite little girl will be bigger, and taller and have to get used to me again . There will be houses actually built in the field Spencer used to run so freely in.

I will miss our gym, that we frequent 3 days a week plus a boot camp. I wont have boot camp.

I will be spending more money on groceries, house payments, and sales tax. Gas will be more expensive. Our AC bill will be through the roof because Sacramento summers last until October and usually hover around 98 degrees on a cool day.

I wont have my own computer, just C's work computer. I wont have my own office, bathroom or 3 stories. I wont be able to watch all my favorite shows since we wont have cable, and chances are I wont have time for hulu.com. Cooking and baking will slowly die down, since my kitchen will be small and I wont have the energy after a 14 hour work day and lots of heavy lifting.

Having a business posts challenges and lots of changes. Carlos is reading a book; Rich Dad, Poor Dad. And in that book he says " you can't be afraid of change or you will fail. Failure is essential in business, everyone must fail in order to succeed"

So to me he says, be afraid of change, let yourself fail. It's okay. It will only help you in the long run, it will only help you grow and become more successful.

But what he doesn't know is; I'm not afraid of my business, I'm afraid of my life. I'm afraid of what was suppose to be. I'm afraid of our old cast asking too many questions that will inevitability break me down. I'm afraid people will think differently of me, and not see me as the person in charge. They will see my weakness, and take advantage of me. Or worse yet, they will feel sorry for me.

So please, during my journey down to another year of Halloween madness, say a prayer for me. Send me your kind words, encouragement, and support. I will need every last ounce of it.

 There are positives to every situation, and I'm trying so hard to see them all.


I am grateful, I am loved, I have support and that's all that matter in the end.