Monday, June 7, 2010


In 8 days I'll be California bound once again. Unfortunately this time it's not for vacation, but none the less it will be a nice change.

I can't believe our busy season has come yet again, and it seems like it was faster then ever. With everything I've been through in the last year, it's sort of all a blur. I've had this weird feeling in the back of my chest for the last few weeks, and I finally sat down with C to talk about it.

It's hard for me to go back to a place where so much went wrong. Our wedding was canceled, We lost our first child, I had a mental break down and nearly admitted myself into the hospital because of it all.

I know sometimes life takes it's turn, but for me, I just kept thinking, we're going back into a routine we've been in for the last 5 years. That same routine in which this year we should have been married, we should have expected our first child September 1st we should of been more then we are.

I have grown SO much over the last 6 months, and have really tried to change my life for the better. I'm trying to stay positive in life when sometimes it's all negative, I'm trying to be supportive of C and all of his dreams and ambitions, i'm trying to be a better daughter, a better fur mama and a better person in general.

I'm healthy now, I have a clear mind, I don't want out of my life, or out of my house.

For the first time, in a long time, I'm content. I like where I'm at. Do I want more? Yes. But in time I know I'll have all the things that should have been. And they will come when the time is right.

So this week i'm headed to my grams house to start work on her house, and to visit with my mom before we head to California for 2 weeks.

We also have some amazing weather coming our way and should be in the high 70s low 80s all this week. Huge change from where we've been. But i'm still looking forward to the real heat of summer when we're in CA.

I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend!


Adie said...

I think I might have said this in my last comment, but hang in there! Life can suck sometimes! And than smetimes it is awesome, live for the awesome!

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

I love how honest you are, such an awesome quality. Good luck with your busy season and know that you're not alone!