WEIGHT WATCHERS; week 4

I need Spring to get here, really. I took this picture last year around this same time. it was a balmy 75 degrees that day. This week? We have snow in our forecast.

Anyhow..



Weight watchers week 4

Moving right along aren't we? I fully expected to be going into week 4 with at
least 10 lbs off. But unfortunately that just didnt happen. I did have a loss this week of 1 lb. I know it's still a loss, but honestly? I wanted more. I worked really, really hard. I went to the gym 3 times during the week and had 1 boot camp workout. I worked really hard on staying within points and only used my exercise points. I left every single one of my weekly points alone. I really expected at least a 3, since my pants felt a bit looser and I had worked hard. But whatever. At this point there is nothing else I can do. I'm following the rules. I'm working out. Eating healthy.

I posted on twitter a few days ago that I was upset about my loss. I reached out to a few different people and had some great feed back... well, other then the drama that came of it from one girl, but whatever, she doesn't matter. I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this...It would be a lot different if I was sitting on my ass eating pizza and ice cream everyday. But I'm not. I'm eating grilled chicken. vegetables, fruit, whole wheat pasta. So like I said, I'm just not entirely sure where the issue is coming from.

I had an OB appointment today. I went in originally for my yearly "women" test and with a list of questions about why we're having no luck getting pregnant. I also mentioned the 40 lb weight gain in 2 years and how hard I've struggled to get it off. She said it's more then likely related, and we've begun our first series of tests.

I can't even begin to describe the weight that was lifted off my shoulders. I have felt like a complete failure the last few weeks ( body wise) and I know it's out of my control right now.

So as of right now, I have an ultra sound scheduled next week, and labs scheduled next month. I guess I have to wait until day 3 of my period to get the best results. I just hope that doesn't happen while I'm in Florida ( 18 more days, squeeeee!!)Once we get results back, we'll move forward from there. My DR is an obgyn doctor but also specializes in infertility, so it's nice to not have to move between several doctors to get some answers.


I'll keep you updated on the process, because I think there are others out there going through the same thing I am.

Week 1 loss: 3 lbs
Week 2 loss: 1 lb
Week 3 gain:.5 lb
Week 4 loss: 1 lb
Total loss: 4.5 lbs

A BIG FAT NEGATIVE

(Disclaimer. I will be talking about periods and stuff, so if it's not your thing, you might wanna run the other direction.)

I did something really bad this week. I got my hopes up. Like, waaaay up.

You see, after we miscarried My periods have gone to shit. Meaning; they're all over the place. Some months they're the first of the month and so super light, and some months they move to the middle and I can't even bend over they hurt so bad. It's been a confusing mind game, and a very emotional one at that.

This month I anticipated a bad one, since the last 2 were fairly easy. I started cramping the 1st and second thinking I was surely about to start. But nothing. Then I woke up and my boobs hurt. I mean aching, warm and felt like huge jugs of water were falling out of my chest. I got a little tinge of hmmm.That's a sign I had before too when I was pregnant. Maybe maybe maybe.

I didn't think about it anymore for a few days, but by day 6 when I still hadn't had my period and my boobs were still hurting, I caved and took a test. It was negative.

I put it in the waste can, and about an hour later I decided to look at it one more time and there was a faint positive. I think I had a small heart attack, but then came back down to reality and realized it was probably just a vapor line. I decided to wait another week ( and the anticipation? OMG the worst!) It was the 10th of the month. Boobs still hurt, still no period but some cramping. So I bought an EPT. Took it, and that one was very very negative. So I gave up hope. I just figured my period was jacked up, I've taken 2 tests and nothing.

2 days later I still had nothing. Just an emotional side of me wishing I was pregnant, and not anticipating a late period. I guess god heard me, and decided it was time to stop playing mind games because he through in 3 of the biggest cramps I've had in my life and then I started.

And like I said in my last post, It's one of the worst ones I've had in a really long time. So bad in fact that I caved and made an OB apt. I'm ready to start the testing process. I'm ready to learn why my body is doing what it's doing.

Infertility is not fun.