THANKFUL

I'm still trying to find my place in this whole being married, and 4 months pregnant thing. Some days I forget I'm pregnant because I'm still in the honeymoon stage of marriage. other days I feel like my belly is growing so quick and there are so many changes happening, I can't breathe. I do feel like I'm coming into a middle ground though. I feel like I do have balance with my everyday life, and for that? I'm thankful.


I'm thankful for so many things. I can't express that enough to the people I love and to myself. I really thought I would never be in the place I am. With cancelled weddings, miscarriages, constantly picking up our lives and going back and fourth from Oregon to California for our business. It all seems like such a blur, but I know deep down it's what's shaped me. I don't overlook the simple thing my husband does. Like, bring me cold rags when I have a migraine, cleaning out my car, rubbing my belly in the middle of the night. They are things I wouldn't have noticed before. But I'm thankful that I do now.


I'm also thankful for the relationship I have with my mom. We weren't always close. In fact, for a long time as a teenager I had a very strong hate for her. We are complete opposites. I actually went to live with my grandma for 2 years because I couldn't stand to be in the same room as my mom. I'm not sure what triggered any of that as a kid, other then having very different personalities, but it was something I was so upset about. We've always talked, we've always had respect for one another, we just didn't always like each other. It's not like that now. It really changed when my grandma passed away. I think we both made a effort to be involved and slowly but surely we built our own connection. I'm thankful we have that now. I'm thankful I can call her at anytime an she'll just listen, or vice versa. I love my mom whole heartily and I'm so thankful to be able to say that.


I'm thankful for a roof over our head. It's not my dream home, and wasn't even suppose to be our home for more then 3 months. But we've made it a home, and it's nice to come back from a long day at work or traveling to a comfy us place. It will serve as the place we bring our baby home to, and will have been pressed in our memory as the place where we spent our first year of marriage.


I'm thankful for a healthy pregnancy. I still feel like I'm in denial about the whole thing. But then we saw our baby on screen, and the next night felt our baby kick from the outside and my brain suddenly clicked on that we ARE doing this, you ARE growing a little human who depends on every ounce of your being. I'm so excited to finish our my pregnancy and welcome our beautiful baby into the world.



I'm thankful for real friends. We've had people come in and out of our life over the last several years, and the ones that stayed are the ones that mean the most. We're not the easiest people to stay in contact with, as we're on the go a lot. Unfortunately not a lot of people understand that. We can't make it to every birthday party, bar outing, dinner out, etc. We do try our best though, and I feel like our core group of friends understands and doesn't judge us.



While it's a materialistic item, I'm thankful for my iphone. It took us a while to get on the smart phone kick, but once we did? so amazing. I love my phone, and the apps I can play with. Some of my favs? Twitter, instagram, what to expect, draw something and the weather app ( what? I like to know how hot or cold it will be!)


So in the end my heart is happy. My love cup? Completely full.


What are YOU thankful for?

20 Weeks

We're half way people, WHOA! And Yes, I missed another weekly post ( 19 weeks) I just can't seem to find the time lately, which is something I'm really trying to get better at. I'll try and do better this week since I now have a full length mirror to take my own dang picture. Trying to get my husband to take one is like asking him to remodel a kitchen.


( lots of growth this week!)


How far along:

20 weeks, half way! I can't even believe it, and then at the same time, I feel like it's taken us forever to get here. I googled "20 week babies" and "20 week pregnancy bellies" and let me just say yikes. The bellies that I just witnessed online are insane. I feel like mine grows a little tiny bit every week, and can't come anywhere close to the bellies. Also the 20 week baby? looks just like a REAL baby. That for me is mind blowing. Apparently my baby is the size of a cantaloupe which is funny because I just bought one to eat this week.


How are you feeling:

I still have a runny nose which has been normal for me since around 12 weeks pregnant. I can't tell you how many napkins, boxes of tissues and rolls of TP we've gone through. I finally caved this week to buy a body pillow. My hips, back and legs have ached every single night, resulting in no sleep for me, or for Carlos with all the tossing and turning. Headaches have pretty much disappeared and boy am I thankful for that! Also, I went in for a pedicure and 2 hours later I started having braxton hicks. I'm sure that's normal, but I kind of freaked out and C has banned me from going back for awhile.

( I actually wrote this post 2 days ago, and had planned to post it yesterday, but unfortunately I was down all day with a migraine. I finally got out of bed at 8pm last night! I guess this might teach one to keep your mouth shut about improving symptoms because you just never know..)


Stretchmarks:

My belly was very itchy this week which could have been from the crazy change in weather ( hello 80 degrees one day at 30 the next) so I was expecting some more to pop up, but alas nothing more, nothing less. I have noticed the white faded one on my hips starting to pop up just a little bit more.


Weight gain/loss:

Up 8lbs. At week 19 I was hungry all. the. dang. time. I could not get enough food. Unfortunately for me, it wasn't the healthiest choices either. So I'm sure that contributed to 3 lbs gain in 1 week. This week I didn't have a gain, and I'm back on track and continuing to juice fresh fruits and veggies and eat more snacks instead of huge meals.



Movement:

Lots of pops or baby "kicks". It makes me so excited to feel them first thing in the morning, and when going to bed at night. I've also now started feeling them while sitting in my chair and relaxing. I'm hoping any day Carlos will be able to feel them! I'm sure him hearing " oh,I just felt the baby kick" is making him full of anticipation to feel his child, too.


Gender:

We'll find out in August! ( although on Friday we should get our gender ultrasound. At least we'll get to see our baby!)


What I'm loving:

We're finally fully insured! No more rescheduling appointments, no more worrying about a 10k hospital bill, it's covered and I couldn't be more relieved. On Friday we have our first appointment with our new doctor. I switched doctors right around 17 weeks, and then had to wait for our insurance to carry over so it's been a long time coming. I'll have lots of blood work to get caught up on, and I'm sure the appointment will be long with adding in the ultrasound, but it's all worth it in the end. Also, we have chosen our car seat and stroller!

We're going with the Chicco keyfit 30 for our car seat




And the BOB revolution single





We haven't made the purchase just yet as we'll be in Oregon in June and plan to buy tax free! At least it's one thing off our list. Now we just need to get our baby registry started for our end of May shower. I'm loving having things to look forward to!

18 Weeks

I feel like I look HUGE in this picture. My tummy sticks out and there is really no line drawn where my boobs, ribs and belly end. In reality I think the bra and shirt I had on made me look like a huge blob. I still have some curves left, somewhere



How far along:

18 weeks 2 days. ( I sort of dropped the ball on my 17 week post. I asked my husband to help me with the photo 4 times, then we got busy and I never got back around to nagging him about it. I need a full length mirror to do it on my own)



How are you feeling:

I feel generally good in the middle part of the afternoon. At night I have back aches and leg cramps which are no fun at all. I recently had to start sleeping with a pillow between my legs to get any rest at all. In the morning, I wake up completely stuffed up. I'm not sure if it's an allergy thing or a pregnancy thing but either way, My nose feels like it might burn itself off. I've had a few headaches in the last few weeks but that could have been my small appetite and not enough water. Overall, I can't complain. I love being pregnant aching back and all.


Stretchmarks:

Yep. And I'm okay with that. They aren't red or purple which is why I think I'm okay. I know in the future weeks they will probably start turning different colors with how fast this belly is growing.


Weight gain/loss:

I prepared myself after Hawaii for a 10 lb gain. I didn't eat terribly unhealthy, but I ate whatever I wanted which normally is not the case for me. I stepped on the scale shortly after 16 weeks and found that I had lost 2 lbs. 3 days later I lost another 1 lb. As of this morning, I'm back at a 5lb gain. Watching my pant size go up, as well as the scale, was really hard at first. I struggle in the weight department and worked very hard to loose the 25 lbs pre-pregnancy.In the last week I've accepted that my weight will go up to accommodate my healthy baby. And in the end? I'll get that weight back off plus some, and tote around a cute baby in my arms as a prize.


Movement:

This still boggles my mind. Some days I know FOR SURE it's baby. It's so strong! Then I'll go 2 or 3 days with no movement and start back tracking my thoughts. I just want a huge jab right in the belly to say HI MOM!


Gender:

We'll find out in August!




What I'm loving:

I've been on the phone back and fourth with the insurance company trying to get coverage, tis been fun ( not!) At the end of the day I know we can afford to have this baby insurance or not, it would just be nice to have a little help. Accepting that I can't control what happens has been a good thing for me. I'm also loving that I've accepted my body and all the changes it's making. This weekend we're headed to look at our top contenders for a car seat and stroller. I don't think we'll actually purchase just yet, as we have a space issue, but it'll be nice to make the decision on the model we want. More big news; We got our wedding photos back 2 days ago and they turned out gorgeous!